BEST LAWYER JOKE OF THE YEAR

best lawyer joke

Maybe the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century.

A Charlotte, North Carolina lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost in a series of small fires. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued … and WON! (Stay with me here.)

In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer “held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire” and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the “fires.”

NOW FOR THE BEST PART

attorney

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

Only in America!  No wonder the Third World countries think we are nuts 🙂

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WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN!!!

why_we_love_kids

Some cute Children Stories

 

  • The Whale and Jonah

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was

a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could

not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will

ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

  • Group Photograph

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a

copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and

say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘that’s Michael. He’s a doctor.'”

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher. She’s dead.”

 

  • Blood Circulation

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red

in the face.”

“Yes,” the class said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn’t run into my

feet?”

A little fellow shouted, “Because your feet aren’t empty.”

 

  • Group Photo

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of

the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip

cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all You want. God is watching the apples!”

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