A Lesson In Government – Hilarious

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A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ”Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

”I still don’t get it” responded Little Johnny.

”Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

”Okay then…good night” said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole… to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ”OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of sh*t!”

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Must’ve been Blonde – HILARIOUS

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One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, “Mommy, I got five dollars!”

The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied, ”Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.

The mother told her daughter, “Don’t you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties.”

“OOOOhhhh” said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, “Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, “Where did you get the ten dollars from?”

The little girl replied, “Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed.”

The mother replied, “Didn’t I tell you that he is…”

Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ”Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn’t wear any panties today.”

 

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