Trip of a Lifetime!

 

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded,

“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re flying Continental,” was her reply. “We got a great rate!”

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser.” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”





“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.”

“Don’t go any further. I know the place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

“We’re going to the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“Ha! That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”




A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the woman. “Not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, so they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot the entire flight. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “That’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”




“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, one of the Swiss Guards tapped me on the shoulder, and explained to me that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”

“Oh really! What’d he say?”

He said, “Who messed up your hair?”

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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident

 

It’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, ‘Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.’




The man replies, ‘I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!’

The woman continues, ‘And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.’

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman. Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle.




The man asks, ‘Aren’t you having any?’

The woman replies, ‘No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…’

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